On the need for a Sabbatical

'Sabbatical' comes from the same root as Sabbath. A sabbatical is about time set aside - time for resting, renewing, and being re-formed or re-created.

I feel blessed to be able to take a sabbatical. Most people never get one. And I think probably most would really benefit from one . . . in many of the same ways that I hope to benefit from mine.

But sabbaticals seem to be standard only in the worlds of academics and religious vocations. It should show up in everyone's life, somewhere, somehow. But it usually doesn't. And that's why I feel so blessed . . . and maybe a little guilty? Why should I be one of the few? But I've heard it explained that it is normal for clergy to get sabbaticals because of the 'always on' nature of our lives. And in some ways, that rings true for me. So I'm going to take my sabbatical, try not to feel guilty, and hope that I can bring something back with me that is beneficial for all.

What has surprised me was realizing how much I NEED a sabbatical! I have been doing this 'priest' stuff now for 14 years. I'm beginning to know what 'being burnt out' means. Not in serious ways, but in ways that dampen my enthusiasm (even in its root meaning from en-theos, or being 'in God'). Part of me blames it on 'getting older', but I also realize that there is more than that going on. I sometimes lose contact with that part of me that knows, in deep, very real ways, the joy of being God's beloved. I'm just too tired sometimes to care. Not a good place to be! How can I help others discover that joy, if I can't connect with it myself? I need to be renewed.

I have had too much of institution. Somewhere in the past 12 months I even became panicked at the thought of spending the rest of my life in this church institution business. And then I began to realize that it was mostly of my own making - my allowing the running of the institution to slowly become what my life as a priest was about. I had begun to get it backwards - - God has called us to be community, to follow The Way. And instead we become an institution. And my life as a priest becomes about the institution. Wow - does that ever need to be re-formed!

I still love that institution, because of what it could be - - but it, and I, need to once again get things back into the right connections. I don't know how it will look. I don't know what it will mean for the way I live as priest, and the way my parish lives as community. But if we are about being a community that is The Body of Christ - a community that is an incarnate expression of God's love and care for the whole world around us . . . then I believe we all need to be re-created.

So, I'm going on sabbatical - - to give God space to renew, re-form, and re-create me. And hopefully, my parish will also give God space and attention to be renewed, re-formed, and re-created as well.

Who knows what God could do, if we all just gave God a little space, a little time, a little attention.